His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
