only if we run a train.
done.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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