I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
