Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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