i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
