ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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