where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
