Screwed.edu
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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