I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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