spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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