I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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