this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
