I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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