Umm I'm too high to move.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
