i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
