He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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