That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
