WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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