Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
