i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
