i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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