It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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