He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Randomize
