we have pet lesbian snakes
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Drunk is not a location!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
