Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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