This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
