That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
