Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
