idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
