Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
