think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
