Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
