honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
