i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
