my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
