I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
