he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
