he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Still dying that you shit outside
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Lo siento on account of my penis...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
