it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
