If i could tip my vagina, i would.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
