you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
my liver is dry heaving
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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