ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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