Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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