my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
