That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I don't deserve a penis
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
