I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
