bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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