Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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