Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
