If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You know, be my cock's hype man.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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