genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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