did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
